Our friend bailed on us on our movie day but we had his mug, it resulted in:

We named her Titi, at least that is her prostitute-ring name. 

We sent him a series of pictures captioned by her:

1. “Help me Eric! They’re doing things to me! Evil things! I’ve been passed around this entire restaurant, so many dirty greasy hands! HELP ME!”

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2. “I don’t even know what liquid is in me!!!”

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3. “They ran out of spoons! It isn’t even my time of the month!”

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4. “Ahhh so many people touching me!”

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5. “David (our red robins waiter) thinks I am pretty and these people are sketchy…he’s nice.” 

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6. “At least they tip well here.”

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7. “Morgan and I are Maxim’s next cover models.”

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8. “I am an excellent midwife, the streets can be hard on new mothers.”

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9. “When I’m sad I go for a nature hike, which is a lot.”

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10. “I have met new friends to explore my sexuality with.”

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11. “Woohoo, time for a movie on our day off!”

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12. “I like meeting new friends.”

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13. “Before the movie we like to take pictures, we are all very close. They say that I am a cooler friend than you Daddy. I still love you.”

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(I hope people think twice before ditching me and my friends! We are so awesome, but don’t let us near your dishware ;) )

Notes

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